Indiana Beer News – May 31

Hope everyone enjoyed their Memorial Day weekend, found a bit of shade, and enjoyed some quality mid-July style beer. I’d like to throw a nomination to Weihenstephaner Hefe Weissbier as a quality choice if you’d like to skip the Corona on a 95 degree afternoon. Leave us a comment below and share your recommendations for beers that can beat the heat this summer.

Now we turn our attention to the month of June and a very busy craft beer event schedule. It kicks off this weekend in the eastern corners of our state with the Brew Haven Ticket Release Party up north on Friday and the Fest of Ale down south on Saturday. If you’re looking for something in central Indiana, you can check out the Nickel Plate Arts Weekend events in Hamilton County featuring a special tapping of Nickel Plate Arts Wheat at Barley Island on Saturday.

Tickets are now on sale here for the Indiana Microbrewers Festival on July 14th. You can opt for either the 3-7pm general admission at $40 or the 2-7pm VIP at $55. I strongly recommend buying early if you’re interested in the VIP passes.

Another entry in the growing collection of summer festivals comes to us from United Package Liquors in Broad Ripple with Indy's Wine and Brew Fest on June 15th. This festival is not specifically focused on craft beer, but you can scan through the offerings here and surely find something that piques your interest. It’s the ideal outing for the beer drinker whose spouse prefers wine (I know you’re out there). Tickets are $30 or $45 for early entry and can be purchased here or by calling 317-205-1200.

Fans of IndyCar racing and craft beer can take heart in learning that local craft purveyors Amsterdam Brewery and Muskoka Brewery have replaced Labatt (owned by Anheuser-Busch InBev) as the official beer sponsor for the Toronto race on July 8th. The deal stipulates that Amsterdam and Muskoka will be the only beers served at the site of the race. Yes, a sporting event where you can’t purchase Bud Light – perhaps the world really is going to end this year.BaconMug

Bacon lovers everywhere are in mourning as Caramel Apple Spiced Ale beats out Dark Chocolate Bacon Porter as the newest gimmick addition for Blue Moon’s fall variety pack. The good news is you can still drink the Caramel Apple Spiced concoction out of this ==>

Leinenkugel’s is taking the inventive approach of aging their Big Eddy Imperial IPA at sea in a wooden apple brandy barrel from Great Lakes Distillery. This has some relevance to history as the English developed the practice of intense hopping in the mid-1700s as a means to preserve beer over a long voyage to India. Of course Leinenkugel’s has access to a fine selection of Amarillo, Cascade, Citra, and Simcoe hops. Score one for 21st century brewing.

Our oddity of the week may not appeal to those with a weak stomach – you’ve been warned. The story comes from Evil Twin Brewing, where brewmaster Jeppe Jarnit-Bjergso claims to have a beer inspired by the vanilla smell from his newborn son’s diaper. The beer is, in fact, named “Soft Dookie” and is an Imperial Stout with hints of the baby poop inspired vanilla in the aroma. Let’s hope other brewers see the fallacy in making this a trend as Dogfish Head’s Golden Shower didn’t last long and BeerAdvocate reviewers have not been kind to Bluegrass Brewing’s Horse Piss Beer. Just be thankful I dismissed the idea of tracking down a clever photo to pair with this one.

Cheers, Nathan

Dribs and Drams - May 31

 Iechyd Da opens tomorrow in Elkhart. Eric Strader has the skinny. On tap, a pale ale, a session beer, an American paleale, and amber and a porter. 20oz pints will be $4. Half pints half that. Good price guys. Pizza, sandwiches a mug club a couch and hand-pulls. Perfect.

Headline: Good ale boys still on 28-year pub crawl after 16,337 bars. Subheadline: How do the (they) keep their marriages going with this act?

For about the eightieth time someone "figures out" why nitrogen bubbles sink in a Guinness. This time it's the BBC and it's the shape of the glass.

Don't try this at home: Drunken Albertan unharmed after B.C. train runs him over. "And he got up, grabbed his beer, and was on his way,:

The inaugural running of Indianapolis' first Tap 'N' Run!

Yes.. You could go down to Bloomington and spend money to walk around Woolery Stone Mill for four hours and have craft beer... or you could come over to Broadripple at participate in:

Imagine starting a race, either as a team or alone and the whole point is to have a hilarious good time by dressing up in a costume, creating funny team names and ... drinking beer as your run!

This race is a 4k aka 2.5 mile run that starts with a beer and the beers keep coming with 4 beer stations that runners MUST stop at and chug before heading on down to the finish line. 

It promises to be a great time for all involved.. but if you aren't up to the run and chug challenge, check in with Sara Craft at who may still be looking for volunteers to either pour (server's permit require, reiumbursement for permit is available) or help registration efforts. 

I will be at one of the stations  - with my pouring hand ready! 

Hope to see you there.

- Kathleen

Beer Events past and future

Warm weather seems to go hand-in-hand with craft beer festivals! Two of us who blog for recently covered the Indianapolis Monthly magazine beer fest at Tomlinson Tap room at the City Market. We found warm hospitality and cold delicious beer offered by most of our Central Indiana brewers. SunKing provided samples of their Chaka collaboration with Oskar Blues brewery (or CANlaboration as they noted) an 8% Belgian beer that is very malty with the noted higher ABV.

Most central Indiana breweries offered beers that are either regularly or often on tap to help acquaint a wider audience to local craft beers!

Perhaps most notable is that more and more we are reminded of Belgium with nearly all local craft breweries featuring distinct beers that they have become known for so that, indeed, there is tremendous variety as you sample whether from Fountan Square, Peoples of Lafayette, Upland, Bloomington Brewing, Triton, Thr3e Wise men, or Black Swan or 3Pints from Plainfield. It was great to see so many brewers on hand to answer questions from the public!

On June 9, Bloomington will be home to a similar and slightly larger event 3-7. see blog below.

Then on July 14, the big Brewers of Indiana Guild 17th Annual MicroBrewers festival takes place at Optimist Park in Broad Ripple 3-7 See Brewers of Indiana Guild

Bloomington Craft Beer Fest

On June 9th, The Brewers of Indiana Guild will be holding The Bloomington Craft Beer Fest. The festival will take place at the beautiful and historic Woolery Stone Mill and is the newest of three festivals produced by the Brewers of Indiana Guild. In addition to sampling craft beer, guests will enjoy live music and a panoply of food from local restaurants (available for purchase).

General admission tickets are $35 and include admission, a commemorative tasting glass, and access to over 120 beers in 2-ounce pours. VIP tickets are $50 and include early admission (3pm), a commemorative tasting glass, and a special gift. Tickets are available online through Etix:

Quick Notes - March 25 and beyond

Bloomington, IN.... Ally Bar will tap Ofallon (of Ofallon, MO) Wheach, yep you guessed it a wheat with a hint of peach, tomorrow (Friday) March 25 at 4:15. Ally still had a bit of the Schlafly 'Export' IPA (um...I guess they export it across state lines) today and I hope it lasts through Friday. This one was a tasty almost pale without a huge hop character. Always at least one local on tap at Alley and 4-5 other craft beers.

Friday, June 8th: Flat12 Tap 'takeover' at Yogi's in Bloomington (8 beers on tap, out of over 40 total)

Saturday, June 9th Fishers The RAM Restaurant and Brewery teams with 92.3 WTTS for a tapping and new music at 2 p.m. with the release of Barefoot Wit. WTTS will be handing out their Spring Music Sampler

Tasting notes: sampled the Belgian Golden Strong (with a hint of wit character) at Granite City this week. Yum at 9%.

One of my beer haunts (Alibi's, 75th & Shadeland in Indy) has Triton IPA, SunKing Osiris, SunKing Sunlight Creme Ale, and the big US craft seasonal Sam Adams Alpine Spring. Some of us from stopped there for conversation this week and enjoyed several of these fine craft beers. All refreshing!

Finally, while it may be gone by now, stopped at Chatham Tap Mass Av to find not only great Indiana beer but Upper Chestnut's (St. Louis) Zwickel, an unfiltered German lager that I love! What a nice surprise.

Beerio! Greg Kitz

Rock Bottom Downtown Beer & Cheese Tasting

After spending most of American Craft Beer Week safely hidden under my rock, it was finally time to emerge on Thursday for the Beer and Cheese Tasting at Rock Bottom Downtown. While I’ve never been inclined to picture myself among the more notorious “wine and cheese crowd”, we eagerly checked our sweater vests at the door and surrendered to the allure of gourmet beer and cheese. This event featured seven pairings displaying the talents of Sous Chef Ricky Cassidy and Brewmaster Jerry Sutherlin. Healthy servings of each sample made the $25 price tag a great value.

Course 1: The first course featured fresh Ricotta, local honeycomb, and black pepper paired with Rock Bottom White Ale. The Ricotta was made in-house by Ricky and combined pleasantly with the honeycomb while the black pepper cut the sweetness with a kick to the back of the palette. The White Ale (Belgian Wit) was an appropriate pairing choice as the slightly sour character helped to further offset the sweetness.

Course 2: The second course included smokey blue cheese blended with ice cream and apple and fennel baklava. This was paired with Jerry’s GoatToppler Maibock spring seasonal. Everything in this course had a hard time keeping up with the intense flavor of the blue cheese, so the rosemary spice in the baklava provided the most interesting pairing with the GoatToppler. The darker color and slightly nutty, chocolate flavor of the Maibock was a bit out of character for the style, but sometimes you just have to classify beer as “good”. And when my wife really likes a Maibock, that’s some fine work.


Course 3: The third course was actually a trio of goat cheeses paired with hoppy beers including Rock Bottom IPA, Catcher in the Rye, and the recently tapped Hop Bomb Imperial IPA. The standout beer was a tough call between Catcher in the Rye and Hop Bomb, but the standout pairing was definitely Catcher in the Rye with Humboldt Fog cheese. Humboldt Fog is a mold-ripened cheese with a coating of edible vegetable ash that qualifies as your classic “smells like hell, tastes like heaven” variety. The addition of smoked salt gave the cheese a smoky, pungent flavor that paired well with the spicy rye character of the beer.


Course 4: The fourth course was Red Dragon cheddar and Andouille Sausage paired with the Old Curmudgeon winter seasonal. The Red Dragon is made with Welsh brown ale and mustard seeds with the mustard providing a distinct spicy character. Combined with salty and smoky notes from the sausage, the addition of an apple garnish provided some tart sweetness for balance. This tied with the Humboldt Fog as our favorite cheese of the night. The Old Curmudgeon is best described as a Red IPA. With a bit of age, the aroma was still deceptively hoppy while the flavor had evolved more to a dominant malt character. We thought the Rock Bottom IPA offered the best pairing for this cheese.

Course 5: The final course was Cahills Porter Irish Cheddar with cocoa toasted hazelnuts paired with Rock Bottom Stout. The cheddar curds are veined with Cahills Porter to give the cheese a distinctly unique appearance, but the porter adds surprisingly little to the flavor. The stout had the roasty character of a classic Irish Dry but also uses oatmeal to add a creamy mouthfeel prior to the finish. The cocoa toasted hazelnuts were a great pairing with the stout and overshadowed the cheese in this course.

We had an absolute blast at this event with a great deal of quality food and beer for the price. Thanks to Ricky and Jerry for putting their creative efforts into such a unique event – I’m now lobbying for one of these a month! In the meantime, you can attend an event at Rock Bottom Downtown in the near future to check it out for yourself. The Summer Seafood Feast is coming up on June 5th and we’re told there will be a Brewer’s Dinner on June 21st. Check out their website or call 317-681-8180 for more details.

Cheers, Nathan


Trion Tavern Brew Haven 2012 Ticket Release Party - May 22

There will be a ticket release party for the upcoming Brew Haven 2012 August 4th event.  Information is as follows per Adam Lepper, Chairman, Brew Haven Planning Committee:

We will be celebrating with a TICKET RELEASE PARTY at the Trion where tickets can be purchased for CASH ONLY. Several rare/stellar/unique beers will be tapped including 3 Floyds/De Struise Shark Pants (aka Live A Rich Life). Also, to show appreciation to our customers, beers from all 58 taps will be only $3.50. (As with all special beer events at the Trion, the Ticket Release Party will be SMOKE FREE.) This is a  no cover charge event.

Also beginning on Friday, June 1st at 6pm, tickets can be purchased online at In the meantime, more info can be found at:  Please note that the BeerFinder page will evolve to include both an interactive list and an interactive map to make it easy to find the beers you want to sample.

And by the way, the list of breweries expected to be pouring draft beer is now up to 40 and we're not done yet!

UpCup Homebrew Competition Results

Congratulations to the following winners of the UpCup Homebrew Competition:

First Place: Andrew Korty of Indianapolis with Scottish Heavy 70 Shilling named Mr. Quackers.

Second Place: Robert Heinlein of Crown Point with an American IPA named Fatwood (insert your favorite juvenile joke here).

Third Place: Brian Johnston of Louisville with a Specialty Beer Farmhouse IPA named Lonesome Valley.

Honorable Mention: Brandon Cooper of Bloomington with a Brett Rye Pale Ale named The Creature from Deep within Steve Llewellyn’s Beard. Sounds tasty!

Our friend Mr. Korty will brew the winning recipe with Upland Brewer Caleb Staton in their Bloomington brewhouse. Look for the results on tap in the future at Upland’s Bloomington Brew Pub and Indy Tasting Room! I hope everyone is taking note of the good karma that comes with contributing to our website :)

UpCup and other comments

Had a great time judging with friends at Upland Breweries UpCup homebrew competition today, Saturday, May 19. Pic shows Ron and Ryan deep in thought about a beer! Winner will brew the winning recipe with Upland brewers in the future and will be announced soon.

The Upland brewers have a crazy schedule getting the new production facility in place and meeting huge demand with their current system. Summer beers: pils and hefeweizen to be released soon. We will catch up with Caleb again soon for more about the new facility.

It was great to see so many of our Professional brewer friends this week during Craft Beer week! Always afraid we will leave out a name but Clay of Sun King sports the biggest beard while providing award winning brews.

On the smaller side, D.J. of Black Swan received a rave review in Indianapolis' Nuvo recently for the quality of his beer and for solid Euro-style beers!

Rob of Flat12 promises not only all black beers tomorrow, May 20, for Black Sunday, but some never-seen-before brews starting at noon. Includes are New Releases: Van Pogue Reserve and Barrel Aged Joe Brahma

Omar of Thr3eWiseMen was pouring Double Pagoda Pit Road Red at 8.5% at TomTap this week. We hope it stays around.

Thanks to all of the brewers (can't mention them all) who participated in Craft Beer Week this week!

Greg Kitz

Dribs and drams - May 19

George Orwell wrote an essay in 1946 describing the Moon Under Water, his idea of the perfect London pub.
  1. The architecture and fittings must be uncompromisingly Victorian.
  2. Games, such as darts, are only played in the public part of the bar.
  3. The pub is quiet enough to talk, with the house possessing neither a radio nor a piano.
  4. The barmaids know the customers by name and take an interest in everyone.
  5. It sells tobacco and cigarettes, aspirins and stamps, and lets you use the phone.
  6. There is a snack counter where you can get liver-sausage sandwiches, mussels (a specialty of the house), cheese, pickles and [...] large biscuits with caraway seeds.
  7. Upstairs, six days a week, you can get a good, solid lunch -- for example, a cut off the joint, two vegetables and boiled jam roll—for about three shillings.
  8. [...] a creamy sort of draught stout [...], and it goes better in a pewter pot.
  9. They are particular about their drinking vessels at "The Moon Under Water" and never, for example, make the mistake of serving a pint of beer in a handleless glass. Apart from glass and pewter mugs, they have some of those pleasant strawberry-pink china ones.
  10. [...] You go through a narrow passage leading out of the saloon, and find yourself in a fairly large garden.

Now that's how a real man opens a beer bottle.

Beers Across the Wabash, much catchier than Hands Across America

If anyone actually knows what I am referring to in the title of the post then my condolences (for the Hands Across America part that is).  

Greetings from the greater Lafayette area.  I certainly hope everyone is enjoying American Craft Beer Week.  Sadly, aside from partaking in a few homebrews of my own, I’ve been too busy to venture out to any of my favorite destinations to revel with my fellow beer brethren during this holy week.  To avoid making the same mistake as I have, hit up the Lafayette Brewing Company and/or People’s this weekend and raise a glass (or two, or three, or…you get the idea) to American Craft Beers!  Here’s what’s on tap.

Lafayette Brewing Company -
Currently on Tap:  Star City Lager, Tippecanoe Common Ale, Pipers Pride Scottish Ale, Nuggles XXX Old Ale, & Star City White

Special Guest Beer:  People’s Hoodlum Pale Ale

Featured Beer:  Star City White is a light bodied Berliner Weisse that pours a hazy gold color with a bit higher carbonation.  The flavor is sour and crisp with grainy wheat flavors and no noticeable bitterness or hop character.  Overall, Star City White is tart and refreshing featuring noticeable sourness with a light, dry finish.  ABV – 4.2%, IBUs – 9

People’s Brewing Company -
Currently on Tap:  Farmer's Daughter Wheat Ale, Aberrant Amber, Newman's ESB, Mound Builder IPA, Mr. Brown, & Flying Duchess IPA

Featured BeerFlying Duchess English IPA is made with Marris Otter and CaraMunich malts for an orange color. English First Gold hops lend tangerine and apricot flavors, on the hop side, in a well balanced English India Pale Ale.  6.0% ABV 62 IBUs

Firkin Friday:   Flying Duchess IPA

Finally, details are emerging about the upcoming Beers Across the Wabash (BAW) event taking place Saturday, August 25th from noon to 4pm.  Base ticket price will be $35, while $40 will get you into BAW and the Jazz & Blues Fest taking place after the beer event.  There will be three seminars taking place, beer & chocolate, beer & cheese, & cooking with beer, at a cost of $5 per seminar if you choose to attend.

Additional details and tickets for Beers Across the Wabash are available and may be purchased at the Lafayette Brewing Company, People’s Brewing, local Village Bottle Shoppe stores, and here:

One last parting thought before I bid you farewell.  I was recently reminded as to how unpredictable and short life can be.  Please, be sure to take the time to appreciate your surrounding company, be it friends or family, while you are enjoying you favorite craft beer this weekend.

Jason C.
“Let no man thirst for lack of Real Ale.”

Indiana Beer News – May 17

Hope you’ve been out enjoying the various activities of American Craft Beer Week. Most of our coverage has and will be focused on these events, but it’s time now for a few random distractions……

The resealable Alumi-Tek bottles introduced for the Sun King/Oskar Blues Chaka collaboration will be used in future releases from Sun King’s barrel-aged and sour beer program. The next release will be a barrel-aged version of Johan the Barleywine. In other Sun King news, fans of the HDNet show Drinking Made Easy will be interested to hear that host Zane Lamprey visited the brewery and there are pictures to prove it.

Congratulations to first-time nominee Grand Rapids (my personal choice) for sharing the title of BeerCity USA 2012 with Asheville, NC. Coincidentally, the top two states from which votes were cast were Michigan and North Carolina. More curious…..votes were cast from 90 countries. Apparently this qualifies as a global phenomenon.

Next up in the Founders Backstage Series is Frangelic Mountain Brown, a 9% ABV brown ale that uses hazelnut coffee in the brewing process. Sounds like it will be distributed to the normal markets so start hassling your neighborhood beer manager now for a reservation.

We talk a lot here about the great beer made in Indiana, but apparently the Hoosier State knows how to serve it fast as well. The Indianapolis company GrinOn produces a beer dispenser that uses a magnet to fill cups from the bottom and can blow through 62 cups in a single minute. The dispenser has already found a home in nearly every major sports facility in the country including Conseco Banker’s Life Fieldhouse and Lucas Oil Stadium. Now excuse me while I work on my new magnet-driven solution for eliminating restroom lines. You really don’t want the details on this one.coors_light_shotgun

Guinness is rolling out a new QR Cup where the code will be revealed when the glass is filled with Guinness (or apparently any dark liquid). This is very handy for the person who wants everyone to know they’re sitting around a bar trying to scan their beer with a smart phone. If this describes you, please don’t ever look me up on Facebook.

If you’re familiar with the work of comedian David Cross (or even if you aren’t), you’ll enjoy the first three minutes of this clip commenting on the various “innovations” of the Coors Light can. Sure, I can feel it’s cold….and I can taste it’s cold….but how do I really know? Fun fact – David bears a striking resemblance to guest reviewer Andrew Korty. I’ve never seen them both in the same place.

Cheers, Nathan

Dribs and Drams - May 17

NPR had a story yesterday: Vermont Beer Makers Bring Back Old-Time Maple Sap Brews. Using the dregs of the tree's spring run to make a special summer beer. W/ 4-minute audio report.

CAMRA's branch web site of the year award went to the Swale Branch serving Faversham, Sittingbourne and surrounding villages plus the isle of Sheppey.

Molecular bonding T-shirts.$10 ==>

American Craft Beer Week 2012 - The Beginning

First off, Happy American Craft Beer Week everyone!

I hope you are out supporting our local craft breweries or at least getting out and drinking some of the many great craft beers there are available to us in Indiana.

I personally kicked of this week on Monday by having a pint of New Belgium's Cocoa Mole at the Indy Beer Sellar. If you like chili beers, I suggest giving this one a shot. It leaves a nice little burn in the back of your throat. For more of what is available at the Beer Sellar - Check out their tap list! and make sure you stop in this Friday for their Tap Attack! starting at 7pm - Just to name a few to get you thirsty:

  • Founders -  Breakfast Stout
  • Three Floyds - Zombie Dust
  • New Holland - Dragon's Milk Oak Barrel Ale 

Onto Tuesday - 

Went down to Irvington to visit Black Acre Brewing Co. for the first time and socialize with Girls Pint Out and Arts & Craft Beer Owner, Tara Maggert. 

Since Tuesdays, Black Acre is typically closed, the place was only filled with about 20-30 people at any given moment. Jordan, brewer - bartender - and more,  was quick to pour you a pint and the place was comfortable enough to just stay up at the bar and chat. 

My first pint was a house beer - Watermelon Wheat.  Wheat ales are not my typical choice, but I thought I would give it a try. If you like something sweet and cool, I would go with this beer. The other  house beer on tap was the Strong Ale.  Black Acre also offered selections from local favorites Sun King and Bier Brewery along with non local craft beer. 

I will completely admit that I had a snifter of  Monk's Cafe Sour Flemish Ale after the Watermelon Wheat.  It is another favorite of mine, rare to find in bottles, and the first time I've seen it on draft. Who could resist that!?

If I lived closer to Irvington, I'd be a more frequent visitor to Black Acre. I hoping next time to catch a taste of the Green Tea Pale Ale. 

And a tip:

For the ladies - Try to come out to a GPO event, you are not alone in loving craft beer :) 
For the crafty ladies - Check out the monthly events at Arts & Craft Beer

Now those recaps are done.. Time to get ready for tonight!

Greg K and I will be at Tomlinson Tap Room for Indianapolis Monthly's first Beer Fest - 15 breweries, $30.. 6pm-8:30pm - Tickets are still available - (By Clicking Here!)

See you readers tomorrow for the recap. 

- Kathleen

Sour + Wild + Funk Fest Review

Editor’s Note: Various circumstances prevented our reporters from attending this event. The good (arguably better) news is we were able to line up a guest review from Andrew Korty. Andrew is a BJCP National-ranking beer judge, National Homebrew Competition medalist, and all-around swell guy. Big thanks to Andrew, check out his review that follows…..

As craft beer popularity continues to grow, festival-goers are haunted by the specters of overcrowding and high-priced or unobtainable tickets.  One hope for satisfying this demand is smaller, style-oriented festivals.  How fortunate that one of the first of these in our area focuses on perhaps the most challenging and beer-geeky of styles -- sour ales.

Upland's Sour + Wild + Funk festival featured over 30 sour ales with suggested cheese, fruit, and meat pairings which could be sampled from several large spreads on each end of the venue.  An aural backdrop of funk and related music set the mood, and if you and your colleagues wanted to discuss the finer points of B. bruxellensis versus B. lambicus, you could step out into the quieter outdoor area.

Upland's own Sour Reserve was the clear standout and the only beer of the evening with that braying, horse-gone-strange character you'd expect from the finest Cantillon Geueze.  Other highlights were Sun King's surreally complex Stupid Sexy Flanders, a Bretted Pilsener from Brugge Brasserie, Saint Somewhere's Lectio Devina, New Belgium's Bier de Mars, Barley Island's Damien (although not a sour, a nice Belgian Golden Strong) and of course Goose Island's fruited wild ales Lolita and Juliet.

Jolly Pumpkin and Saint Somewhere beers were available courtesy of Starlight Distribution.  These are the folks that took over the Shelton Brothers lineup from Cavalier, and they're a high-energy bunch.  Thanks to them for making some of the most interesting brands available in Indiana.

Although the number of beers was small at this festival, it was nice having plenty of time to sample them all.  The food pairings were better than I'd have imagined, both in variety and quality.  On the downside, a couple of the exhibitors left as early as 4:30, apparently having run out of beer.  Seating was lacking -- altogether lacking, in fact.  But apart from these minor miscalculations, this event was a wild success.

Fort Wayne & New Haven Happenings - May 14

In celebration of American Craft Beer Week, this Friday, May 18th, from 5p.m.-7p.m., Cap n' Cork Dupont Road, Fort Wayne, will be having their most popular tent event...the Craft Beer Fest.  The event location this year will be held at Northbrook Shopping Center in front of the Arena Bar & Grill located at 1567 W. Dupont Road.  There will be 100 or so different beers to sample!!  The cost?  There is none!!  This event is FREE!!!  Come on out and enjoy the fun of sampling some tasty beers to celebrate American Craft Beer Week!  (Must be 21 yrs. of age or over with valid photo ID)

Belmont Beverage on Illinois Road, Fort Wayne, has weekly FREE craft beer tastings on Fridays from
4p.m.-8p.m. and on Saturdays from 2p.m.-8p.m.  Come out and sample some beers and perhaps find some new beers to enjoy this Summer.

Trion Tavern in New Haven, IN recently tapped the following beers:

Batch 19 by MillerCoors
Resin by Sixpoint Craft Ales
Sublimely Self-Righteous Ale by Stone Brewing Co.
Yakima by New Albanian Brewing Co.

Along with 58 taps, they also have carry-out beers!

The Dash In in Downtown Fort Wayne just put on the following beers:
New Holland Golden Cap 
Three Floyds Dreadnaught
Flat 12's Lacto-Matic Milk Stout
Three Floyd's Al-Dabeyoun


Summer Beer Festival Guide


With the Sour Fest this Saturday, we unofficially kickoff that time of the year where thoughts turn to fancies of sunburns, rampant dehydration, and patrons begging for an extension of last call (seriously, don’t be that person). Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Summer (Spring/Summer?) Beer Festival season. There are a lot of great events on tap in many areas of the state, so here is our guide to help you sort out where to spend your beer-sampling dollar:


Sour + Wild + Funk Fest
Saturday, May 12th 2-6pm
Developer Town
5525 Winthrop Ave, Indianapolis
Tickets: $45 (Sold Out)

The first, and certainly not the last, festival in Indiana to capitalize on the growing popularity of sour ales. Our friends at Upland have put together an event with over 30 styles of sour ales from around the state, country, and world paired with foods designed to accentuate the unique flavors found in these beers. The list of participating breweries includes Indiana flavor from Brugge, Mad Anthony, Sun King and Upland along with Bell’s, Jolly Pumpkin, New Belgium, Rivertown, and Saint Somewhere. International flavor will be provided by Brouwerig Van Steenberge, Brouwerij Bavik, Brouwerij Liefman’s, and Brouwerij Van Honsebrouck. A portion of the proceeds will benefit Keep Indianapolis Beautiful. Tickets are sold out, so start looking for someone who owes you a favor if you still want to get in.

Indianapolis Monthly Beer Fest
Wednesday, May 16th 6-8:30 pm
Tomlinson Tap Room in City Market
222 East Market St, Indianapolis
Tickets: $25, $10 Designated Driver

If you were left out of the Sour Fest, the next opportunity for beer sampling comes just around the corner from Indianapolis Monthly in celebration of local beer. It features unlimited sampling from central Indiana breweries including Barley Island, Bier Brewery, Big Woods, Black Swan, Bloomington Brewing, Flat 12, Fountain Square, Oaken Barrel, People’s, Ram, Sun King, Three Pints, Thr3e Wise Men, Triton, and Upland. Free parking is available and City Market food vendors will be open. Admission is limited to 500 tickets, which can be purchased here.

Illiana Mayfest
Saturday, May 26th 2-6pm (VIP entrance at 1pm)
Lake County Fairgrounds
889 S Court St, Crown Point
Tickets: $45 VIP (Sold Out), $30 General Admission, $5 Designated Driver at the gate

Moving away from Indianapolis, we find a little sumpin’ for the folks of Northwest Indiana. The 3rd Annual Illiana Mayfest will be hosted by Crown Brewing (recent gold medal winner at the World Beer Cup) at the Lake County Fairgrounds. Your ticket entitles you to four hours of sampling from 24 breweries including such favorites as Crown Brewing, Figure 8, Flat 12, Goose Island, Lafayette Brewing, People’s, Sun King, and Upland. A portion of the proceeds will benefit The Arc of Northwest Indiana. Tickets are on sale now and General Admission is available here.

Keg Liquors Fest of Ale
Saturday, June 2nd 3-7pm
St. Anthony’s of Padua
320 N Sherwood Ave, Clarksville
Tickets: $25 in advance, $30 at gate, Designated Drivers admitted free

Next we move to the southeast for the 7th Annual Keg Liquors Fest of Ale. This festival features both beer and wine with more than 150 craft and import beers from more than 40 participating breweries along with samples from six fine wine distributors. Be sure to visit the House of Hops with a tent dedicated to fulfilling your desires for hoppy bliss. The St. Anthony’s Men’s Club will be cooking up hamburgers, brats, and hot dogs for hungry patrons. Proceeds from the event go to the WHAS Crusade for Children, who received over $7200 from last year’s event. Tickets are on sale now and available here.

Bloomington Craft Beer Festival
Saturday, June 9th 4-7pm (3pm entrance for VIP) 
Historic Woolery Stone Mill
2200 West Tapp Rd, Bloomington
Tickets: $50 VIP, $35 General Admission ($40 at gate if available)

The Brewers of Indiana Guild bring the buzz back to Bloomington at the 2nd Annual Bloomington Craft Beer Festival. The setting at the Woolery Stone Mill provides a unique setting from sampling over 100 craft beers. Details on participating breweries were limited at press time, but it’s a good bet that you can count on finding most of your local favorites. Parking at the mill is limited and costs $10, but a free shuttle service will be provided from designated pick-up and drop-off locations. Tickets are on sale now and available here.

Fishers on Tap
Thursday, June 14th 6:30-9:30pm
Forum Conference and Convention Center
11313 USA Parkway, Fishers
Tickets: $40 General Admission, $20 Designated Driver

The inaugural Fishers on Tap festival is brought to us by the Fishers Rotary Club as a first-of-its-kind fundraising event in Hamilton County. The event will be held at the Forum Conference and Convention Center and offers beer sampling from Barley Island, Bier Brewery, Flat 12, Sun King, Triton, and Upland. The event will be a flat-out Thursday night celebration including Hor d’oveuvres, beer education sessions, live music, raffles, and games of chance. The Fishers Rotary Club has donated over $650,000 to over 85 non-profit organizations locally and around the globe, and all proceeds from this event benefit local service agencies in Fishers and Hamilton County. Tickets are on sale now and available here.

History on Tap
Friday, June 15th 6-10pm
Conner Prairie
13400 Allisonville Rd, Fishers
Tickets: $25 General Admission, $12 Designated Driver

If you didn’t get enough “on tap” entertainment the previous evening, head on over to History on Tap at Conner Prairie. There will be the requisite beer sampling from Bier Brewery, Flat 12, Fountain Square Brewery, Sun King, Upland, and more. But since you’re at Conner Prairie, there will also be the unique offerings of a keynote by Douglas Wissing, an evening adventure through 1836 Prairietown, and the 1859 Balloon Voyage. Aspiring brewers can witness craft brewing demonstrations by Tuxedo Park Brewers and food will be available at an additional cost. Tickets are on sale now and available here.

Phoenix Theatre Brew-Ha-Ha
Saturday, June 23rd 3pm
Outside the Phoenix Theatre
749 N Park Ave, Indianapolis
Tickets: $30 in advance, $35 at the gate, $10 Designated Driver

The original, albeit by a small margin, beer festival in Indianapolis returns to bring the 17th annual celebration to devoted fans in central Indiana. Unlimited samples of over 50 different beers will be available along with live music and great food. The current posted list of breweries is clearly applicable to 2011 (RIP Bee Creek), but you can expect a lineup that has hit 20+ breweries in previous years. This event takes place in a classic street setting along the 700 block of North Park Ave (translation: limited shade, wear sunscreen). Proceeds from the event benefit the unique art of the Phoenix Theatre. Advance tickets can be purchased on the Phoenix’s website here.

17th Annual Indiana Microbrewers Festival
Saturday, July 14th 3-7pm (VIP entrance at 2pm)
Optimist Park and Indianapolis Art Center
E 67th St and Ferguson (Broad Ripple), Indianapolis
Tickets: $50 VIP, $40 General Admission

The Brewers of Indiana Guild will unleash the Big Dog of the summer beer festival season on July 14th. Back for its 17th assault upon Optimist Park in Broad Ripple, and expanding the chaos to the grounds of the Indianapolis Art Center, this is the largest craft beer celebration of the season. Expect to see all your favorite Indiana breweries, regional favorites like Bell’s and Founders, national selections from local distributors, and special features like the Firkin Tent. The expanded grounds offer some opportunity for finding shade, unique settings for live music, and completely losing track of your friends. Tickets are not on sale yet, but watch for updates and plan to buy early as this event is a very good bet to sellout. Practice up on your keg throwing skills!

Michigan Brewers Guild Summer Festival
Friday, July 27th 5-9pm and Saturday, July 28th 1-6pm
Riverside Park
5 E Cross St, Ypsilanti
Tickets: $30 Friday, $35 Saturday (the website mentions gate tickets at a slightly higher rate, but I wouldn’t count on many being available)

OK, so this is an outlier from Indiana, but it makes for a great weekend road trip and I wanted to share some insights after attending the last two years. The good: this is an amazing festival consisting exclusively of beer from Michigan breweries (no interlopers allowed). You will have the chance to sample beers from breweries that may be current favorites (Arcadia, Bell’s, Dark Horse, Founders, Jolly Pumpkin) along with those you may be in the process of discovering (Arbor Brewing, Kuhnhenn, Liberty Street, Odd Side, Short’s, The Livery). The bad: Archaic local laws require the use of tokens for samples. You will be allocated a certain number of tokens with your ticket, but will be able to purchase more once inside (and the enforcement of token exchange can be…uh…lax). Similar to our festival in Broad Ripple, there are no hotels within easy walking distance, so factor in some cab rides to your travel budget. The Friday night crowd size is a bit more sane, but Saturday will bring out more opportunities to sample rare brews. This event proves the level of respect for the Michigan beer scene has been well-earned. Advance tickets are on sale and available here.

Brew Haven 2012
Saturday, August 4th 2-6pm (VIP entrance at 1pm)
Main Street
Downtown New Haven
Tickets: $60 VIP Package, $35 General Admission ($45 at gate), $5 Designated Driver

Staking their claim for the premier festival in Northeast Indiana, the Trion Tavern returns with Brew Haven 2012 in downtown New Haven! They already have more than 30 breweries lined up and you can expect more to be added as we approach the event date (find the latest list here). There is currently a healthy mix of Indiana and Michigan breweries including Bell’s, Founders, New Holland, Mad Anthony, Crown, and Figure 8. As an added bonus, the local homebrew club MASH will be serving up 50 of the finest homebrews the state has to offer. Advance tickets will go on sale June 1st and can be purchased here. The VIP package will get you one hour earlier admission, an event t-shirt, and access to VIP-only pourings.

Beers Across the Wabash
Saturday, August 25th 12-4pm
John T. Myers Pedestrian Bridge
Over the Wabash River (between downtown Lafayette and West Lafayette)
Tickets: TBA

Details are limited at this time, but we have it on good authority that Lafayette’s new summer beer festival is moving forward. The event is being planned as a precursor to the Uptown Jazz & Blues festival that starts at 5pm on the same day. A little pre-party should make the jazz crowds a bit more interesting! Stay tuned for future updates – we will share details as soon as they’re available.

Whew, that’s a lot of festivals……thanks for sticking with me to this point. Of course, there is still time for new events and additional details to pop up. Remember that you can “Like Us” on Facebook and follow us on Twitter for all the latest updates! Stay safe and enjoy the events!

Dribs and Drams - May 9

The A.V. Club looks at Indiana's own liquor - Sorghum.

In Louisville Apocalypse Brew Works will open May 11. And Gordon Biersch will open May 21 (article).

Meanwhile in Scotland, Guinness tries to keep BrewDog from winning an award - which "which does not reflect in any way Diageo’s corporate values and behaviour". article Brewdog says Diegeo has "no soul and no morals, with the integrity of a rabid dog and the style of a wart hog.

Man arrested for smuggling 2,357 litres of beer into Sweden. Tells judge that's for his personal consumption. "The court reasoned that the man, his father, and other relatives could plausibly consume all the beer within a year if they drank 1.3 litres every weekday." article

History on Tap - An Evening of Craft Beer at Conner Prairie

Most tapping events that I know usually take place a bar, restaurant or tap room.. but if you are looking for a new twist and love a little history with your beer, I suggest checking out History on Tap hosted by Conner Prairie Horizon Council.  See below for details!  

Flat 12 Happenings! - May 2012

Looking for some place to celebrate Craft Beer Week? 
Look for a local favorite - Flat 12 Bierwerks at the following places: 

Wednesday, May 16th: Indianapolis Monthly Tasting at Tom Tap
Wednesday, May 16th: Block Party for Riley Area Development Corp.
Friday, May 18th: Flat 12 Night at Cerulean, Winona Lake IN

But I think the two best things to do is stop into the brewery next week -- 

Thursday, May 17th: Tapping, Moustache Ride Red (Bourbon Barrel Vanilla Amber)
I guarantee this one is delicious. I tried it at Winterfest. One of the top ones I had that day.  It will be available for sale in growlers and pints.. 

And the big one is -- 

Sunday, May 20th: Black Sunday at Flat 12 Bierwerk

12 releases of dark beers!!
New Release: Van Pogue Reserve – Growler fills
New Release: Barrel Aged Joe Brahma* – Growler fills
Barrel Aged Nunmoere – Growler fills
Nunmoere Black
Belgian Porter – Growler fills
Chai Porter
Oyster Stout
New Release: Maple Porter
New Release: Pecan Porter
New Release: Masala Porter
Big Black Dog 68- Growler fills
Blackberry Porter

Lafayette Brewing Co.

Last night I took a little venture up to Lafayette, where a friend and I had dinner at Lafayette Brewing Co.
Excited to try out what they had on tap, since I've only experienced Lafayette's Brewing Co. at local festivals, my friend and I ordered the sampler of 10 to share and so I could try everything they had available.

Around the board was:
Eighty Five Ale
Piper's Pride Scottish Ale
Black Angus Oatmeal Stout
Star City Lager
Tippecanoe Common Ale

Chocolate Velvet BAOS
Michanook APA
Nuggles XXX Old Ale
Jupiter Pils

The atmosphere was very casual, pub like setting. Next time I'll have to go upstairs to the event room and check it out.

For the most part the beers were solid. Nothing overall hoppy. The way that that tray is set up is house beers to one side and specialty to another which mixes the hoppy beers with the more malted. I could have rearranged the set but my friend and I went down the line, except we moved the Chocolate Velvet BAOS to the end, for dessert.

What I ordered for dinner actually killed off the hoppy factor on some of the beers, particularly the Michanook APA. I had the slow cooked brisket with the chipotle BBQ sauce and the spiciness of the sauce made the APA very malty.

For a first timer into the world of craft beer, the staff and the menu is a great assistance if you don't know what to order. When we were asking about different beers, the staff was great at giving descriptions and IBU and color of each style. The menu also has descriptions along with IBU, ABV and even an SRM graph with Sweet to Bitter and Lager to Ale selections.

My overall thought is that I'd definitely go back for the food and another round, maybe this time try the beers alone to get their true flavors.  If you are a local to Lafayette and haven't popped in, or are new to craft beer,     I suggest stopping on it.

Til next time!
- Kathleen

Pints and New Friends.

On Thursday morning I received an e-mail which I mistakenly took as spam. I'm sure many of you have done that, looked at an e-mail and thought.. well, I don't know this person so this must be some kind of bad email. 

Thankfully, I went back later on Thursday night and discovered it was actually an email from Omar Castrellon from Thr3e Wise Men suggesting I come down to the brewery and try their new Double Pagoda Pit Road Red. 
This made me over-the-moon excited because it isn't everyday I get an e-mail from a head brewer asking me to come in; he even said he'd buy me a pint!

We decided to meet up on Saturday afternoon; after I arrived we quickly grabbed a pint of the Pit Road Red, (which I will say is another  flavorful brew, that ends with a little bit of sweetness), and then we talked as he gave me a tour. 

As mentioned in The Brewhouse Blog, Thr3e Wise Men is taking on some additional tanks to expand and produce enough beer to be on taps throughout all the company's restaurants. Select styles weren't disclosed but soon there will be at least a tap or two of Thr3e Wise Men's beer at any given Scotty's location.

On Saturday with my tour, I got to see all the shiny new tanks and talked to Omar about the new layout.  When I first heard of the addition of 14 tanks,  I was curious as to where they would go, but walking around you can tell that plans for the expansion were already in place before the first beer was ever started.  

Besides the tank ogling, chatting with Omar was definitely the highlight of my Saturday afternoon; we discussed the house beers, new beer recipes, and any other topic that popped up . I told him how my first beer when I turned 21 was actually from Alcatraz. (To those who may not know, Omar used to be the brewer of Alcatraz before it closed) Also, that the Centennial Martyr Double IPA was the one of the IPA's that started me trying more IPA and Pale Ales. Mostly due to the smoothness and more malts.  That comment prompted him to have me taste the most recent batch, because they have changed the profile by adding more hops. (It is still delicious) - Side note - They will continue changing the hop profile. 

But, like all good things, my time of hanging out had to come to an end. To readers, if you want some quality craft beer at great prices, I, again, suggest stopping in to Thr3e Wise Men. They always have a specials on either pint nights, growlers or table top taps! (101 oz of beer which is about 6.5 pints for $15 -- Thursdays only) 

At least stop by for a tapping party.. once a month, free 8oz sample - best time to try!

And you can say hi to me, I'm usually always there for a new tapping or a random pint. 

World Beer Cup Winners

On the professional side of competitions, we have results to share from the very prestigious 2012 World Beer Cup. This competition is only held once every two years and this year attracted 3,921 entries from 799 breweries from 54 countries and 45 U.S. states. Gold, silver, and bronze medals are awarded in 95 beer style categories. Of the 284 medals awarded to breweries around the world, eight are coming home to the State of Indiana!

Bier Brewery (Indianapolis) Silver Medal: Belgian Dubbel (Belgian-Style Dubbel)
Crown Brewing (Crown Point) Gold Medal: Crown Brown (English-Style Mild Ale)
Rock Bottom College Park (Indianapolis) Gold Medal: Naked Oat Stout (Oatmeal Stout)
Shoreline Brewery (Michigan City) Bronze Medal: Benny’s Pale Ale (Australasian-Style Pale Ale or International-Style Pale Ale)
Bronze Medal: Beltaine Scottish Ale (Scottish-Style Ale) *Note: This is the third World Beer Cup medal for Beltaine.
Sun King Brewing (Indianapolis) Gold Medal: Batch 333: The Velvet Fog (Belgian-Style Dark Strong Ale)
Silver Medal: Ring of Dingle (Classic Irish-Style Dry Stout)
Bronze Medal: Dominator Dopplebock (German-Style Dopplebock or Eisbock)

Big congratulations to the Indiana winners – you can find the full list of winners here.

Cheers, Nathan

NHC First Round Winners

The first round winners of the 2012 National Homebrew Competition are <finally> posted and there are a lot of winning beers from Indiana to pass along. The judging occurs in 10 different U.S. regional sites with the top three entries in each style category qualifying for the national finals (this can be challenging as some categories reach 60+ entries). The final round judging will go down June 21st at the National Homebrew Conference in Seattle with winners announced at the June 23rd banquet. Send your best wishes to the following for some Hoosier representation among this year’s national medalists:

Nathan Compton (Indianapolis) 1st place Belgian and French Ale, 3rd place English Brown Ale
Nathan Engelberth (West Lafayette) 2nd place Belgian Strong Ale
Robert Heinlein (Crown Point) 2nd place Pilsner, 2nd place India Pale Ale
Jim Matt (recently relocated to Cincinnati, but we still claim him!) 1st place English Brown Ale
Rob Meinzer (Zionsville) 3rd place English Pale Ale, 3rd place American Ale
Dave Morse (Columbus) 3rd place Belgian and French Ale
Jason Mundy (Ellettsville) 3rd place Amber Hybrid Beer
Michael Pearson and Bill Ballinger (Indianapolis) 1st place English Brown Ale, 1st place India Pale Ale, 1st place Strong Ale, 1st place Fruit Beer, 2nd place Light Lager, 2nd place India Pale Ale, 3rd place Sour Ale
Kevin Pritchard and Matthew Oakley (Indianapolis) 3rd place Strong Ale
Mark Schiess (Carmel) 2nd place Porter
Bill Staashelm (Indianapolis) 1st place Light Hybrid Beer, 2nd place English Pale Ale
Dave Stahl (Ft. Wayne) 1st place Bock
Brian Steuerwald (Brownsburg) 2nd place Spice/Herb/Vegetable Beer, 3rd place European Amber Lager
Dave Truett (West Lafayette) 2nd place Stout
Tom Wallbank (Zionsville) 1st place Strong Ale, 2nd place European Amber Lager, 2nd place Amber Hybrid Beer, 3rd place Dark Lager
Matt Wisley (Bloomington) 1st place Spice/Herb/Vegetable Beer, 2nd place Strong Ale, 3rd place India Pale Ale

Congrats to all the winners – see ya in Seattle!

Indiana Beer News – May 3


I’d like to start this week by introducing a brewery that I was admittedly unfamiliar with prior to Saturday’s TAP at TAF festival in Lafayette. The Big Dawg Brew Haus can be found in Richmond on the grounds of J&J Winery. They served up an Oatmeal Stout, Belgian Dubbel, Belgian Tripel, and California Common for the festival and it was a very impressive flight of beers. The Oatmeal Stout was one of the overall standouts from the event and is a scaled-up, unmodified version of a homebrew recipe the brewer had perfected over years. This is definitely a brewery to keep an eye on and worth checking out if you live around or pass through the area. You can find Big Dawg’s beers at the J&J Winery, Smiley's Pub, and Randolph Cafe.

Saturday is the Big Brew for National Homebrew Day! Details for registered event sites in Brazil, Columbus, Decatur, Evansville, and Seymour can be found on the AHA Event Page if you search Indiana. For the Indianapolis area, there are two great events planned (don’t forget the nationwide toast at 1pm):

Great Fermentations will host an event in their parking lot at 5127 E. 65th St. featuring community brewing and tasting, the Homebrew Garage Sale, and mobile comfort food from the ScratchTruck. The event runs from 10-4 with food available from 11-2.

Tuxedo Park Brewers will also host community brewing from 11-2 at their shop at 1139 Shelby St. in Fountain Square. They are offering discounts on Big Brew ingredients if you brew at the shop. RSVP on the linked Facebook event page if you plan to attend.wildcare-upland-poster-5-194x300

Have you ever wanted to enjoy an Indiana craft beer in the company of a Eurasian Barn Owl? I have (seriously), and now you will have the chance at Upland’s Benefit for WildCare Inc. on Sunday, May 20th, from 4-10pm. WildCare Inc. has provided professional care for over 12,000 sick, injured, and orphaned animals since 2001. The event will be held at Upland’s Banquet Space and offers the chance to meet and learn more about Valentino the Eurasian Barn Owl and Skylar the Arctic Fox between 4-6pm. All beer proceeds from the event go directly to WildCare Inc.

The brewery expansion to North Carolina craze isn’t finished yet, as Oskar Blues announces plans for a new restaurant and brewery in Brevard. Sure, the story has little impact on us, but if you click over to it you’ll be rewarded with a photo of the CHAKRA collaboration brewing with Dave Chichura of Oskar Blues and Dave and Clay from Sun King. Interesting to note that Dave Chichura’s professional brewing career started in Indianapolis.

Following the passing of the craft beer holiday known as Dark Lord Day comes the popular season of Dark Lord black market sales. If you choose to participate, just be aware that Three Floyds officially does not condone your little scheme. The Gods have spoken.

At the risk of beating this horse one too many times, it’s worth mentioning that the Connecticut bill legalizing Sunday alcohol sales easily passed the Senate and is on its way to be signed by Governor Dannel Malloy. The Governor’s signature will officially leave ONE state that still finds it necessary to have a statewide ban on Sunday sales. I’ll give you a hint – the state I’m referring to just might be in the title of this website.

If you’re looking for a little road trip to cap off American Craft Beer Week, the brand new 500,000 barrel brewing facility built by Bell’s will be open May 19th and 20th for public tours. Get there while you can……before Larry Bell decides to sell off the company.image

What happens when homebrewing and engineers meet? If they have a little too much time on their hands, you end up with inventions like the KegDroid. From the inventor: “Drinking beer has gotten to be very boring for me.” That, sir, does not compute. 

Cheers, Nathan